You’re WHAT?

“I don’t disagree, you know, but I’m just tired of hearing it. I’m tired of being told that we shouldn’t objectify women.”

Yes, I’m sure that’s what you said. Unfortunately for you, you’re a man and saying this makes you sound like a big, horrible jerk. Now, you might not be a jerk; but it’s hard for me to think of any good reason to say what you said. I’ve come up with three possibilities:

• 1. You think the objectification of women isn’t a problem because it isn’t happening.
• 2. You think the objectification of women isn’t a problem because it’s ok.
• 3. You just don’t care.

See, it’s like this. I can say I’m tired of hearing about starving children in Africa. Maybe I don’t think there really are starving children in Africa, or at least it’s not as bad as people say it is. I can say I’m tired of hearing about whooping cough epidemics because I think having whooping cough is just a normal part of life and nothing to fuss about. And I can say I’m tired of hearing about the civil war in Syria, but only if I don’t give a *#^@ about anybody outside my little climate-controlled bubble of selfishness.

I haven’t pigeonholed you yet, so this is your chance to redeem yourself, or else brand yourself forever in my mind as either a dipstick, a dolt, or a d@*#head.

So maybe you don’t objectify women and you think most other men don’t either. (This would be sort of ingenuous of you, since you just watched a thirty minute presentation on women in advertising and if that wasn’t objectification, maybe you don’t know what that word means.)

But I don’t think this is you, because you introduced yourself by not-so-subtly mentioning that you would love to have a three-way with one of the girls in our class and your fiancé, and while I have no problem morally with a three-way if that’s what three people want, a three-way because that’s what one or two people want is pretty objectifying. It’s like saying “I want more boobs!” and not noticing that boobs come on people. So yeah, not you.

Perhaps it’s more that you don’t think objectifying women is such a big deal. To this, I have only one answer. Watch a room full of straight men when they find out one of their number is gay. If you’re capable of exercising any degree of imagination, put yourself in that room. Now how do you feel? That is how it feels to be objectified.

Don’t misunderstand me here. That gay dude is probably not objectifying you. But because you are transferring your feelings and thoughts towards women to him and applying them to yourself, you assume he is, and I guarantee you it makes you very, very uncomfortable.

When you put yourself on the receiving end of objectification, you understand very quickly that it is a big deal. So let’s just pretend this isn’t you either, ok?

I only have one option left, and I honest-to-God hope this isn’t you either. Can you possibly recognize that objectification is happening all around you and comprehend how badly it hurts your fellow humans, and not care? Are you that calloused, that self-centered, that soulless? Have you absolutely no empathy, no self-respect?

Now is your chance to redeem yourself. You can still retract your statement and remain in the ranks of the good guys.

But you can’t stand by your words and retain one shred of my respect. Because I am a woman, and I will not be reduced.

You get to be tired of hearing about how we shouldn’t objectify women when women are no longer objectified . If you want to do something to that end, be my guest. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. You don’t want to see me angry.

September 19, 2013 | Categories: Feminist | Tags: advertising, feminist, objectification, objectification of women, starving children in africa, women, women in advertising | 2 Comments